three weeks old

I hope this is the last post I will be able to write for a little while.

Not that I’m done blogging by any stretch, I’m just looking forward to our new life with some sleepless nights and being just too damned tired to write.

We think Baby Z may be coming home tomorrow.

I’m almost afraid to say it, to write it, to believe it. I’m afraid something will happen and they’ll decide to keep her just a little bit longer. The most likely scenario would be if she doesn’t gain weight tonight.

Yesterday morning when the doctors did their rounds, they said they had high hopes for her, they wanted to see her eat and thrive and go home. This week. As early as Thursday, possibly Friday, when she will be three weeks old. They know Z is not the best eater (yet!), but they think she’s doing well and they know she should do better at home.

I couldn’t help but tear up as they said it. There had been no word of discharge until that moment. The nurse gave me a hug and reminded me that she was there for Z’s delivery. She said it was so gratifying to be part of the team to stabilize a baby just after birth, then care for them and see them get discharged.

Our social worker — who told me that ours was the best story the NICU has had in a while — encouraged me to stay the night on a cot, to help establish round-the-clock breastfeeding and try to help her get home faster. They turn the waiting room into a sleep room at night, and I slept on a pull-out cot for about 2 hours. How strange to roam the halls again in the wee hours of the morning. Baby Z did surprisingly well which pleased everyone. Now she just has to grow.

Logistically it’s complicated as tomorrow is Mac’s first day back to work in three weeks, and he can’t not go. So he won’t even get to bring our new baby home from the hospital. But we’ll have a lifetime together, he says.

When we got home tonight, I felt a sense of awe and gratitude at our incredible good fortune. We just never thought this would happen. Yet here we are, about to bring our new daughter home, to join her incredibly fabulous big sister. I’m also wistfully wondering where our little baby Jaye went, and how she got to be so big all of a sudden.

Our family is complete.



~ by luna on September 21, 2011.

32 Responses to “three weeks old”

  1. I’m teary. Even if it doesn’t happen today, it means it’s going to happen. It WILL happen. And soon.

    Doesn’t the older sibling suddenly seem like a giant? Crazy, isn’t it? Complete. I hope eventually that means content, too.

    Gosh, I hope there’s one more crazy loopy misspelled from your iPhone post at 3 a.m. some morning just to let us know you’re all under one roof. xo

  2. “Our family is complete.”

    Of all the meaningful words you’ve written, those are my all time favorites.”


  3. So happy to read that baby Z will come home soon – of course hoping the docs won’t change their minds and it will be today. Enjoy being a family of four!

  4. Yeah such great news. Please let us know when the whole family is under one roof. So happy for the entire family.

  5. Just think, all the hopes and miracles you’ve been afraid will never come true…all going to be home with you tonight. so very wonderful.

  6. You don’t know me but I’ve been following your story all summer with awe. Congrats on almost reaching a milestone and know that many, many people have you in their thoughts.

  7. I’m so happy to hear this wonderful news. I know it’s tentative and all, but you know something? I hope… I really HOPE that I don’t see a post from you for about two weeks! 😀 Best wishes, much love and oh so much joy for you all as you embark on your new and improved life together as a (larger!) family! *hugs*

  8. Such heartwarming news. Congratulations on family completeness (I hope to one day post the same thing).

  9. I’m so glad to hear how well she’s doing and that the family will be reunited soon!

  10. I am one big hot mess imagining that ride home. That first night together. The next zillion years as a complete family.

  11. What a joyful post!

    You are such a wise, strong, tireless advocate for both of your daughters. There is certainly more than one fiesty girl in your family!!

  12. Overjoyed for you!

  13. Sending love and everything crossed that baby Z makes her homecoming this week. So happy for you and your beautiful family. BTW how are you feeling–physically–after such major surgery? I know all your focus has been on Baby Z but how are you healing? Sending healing thoughts for you, too. xoxoxoxoxo

  14. Wonderful news!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope that you have help – someone to care for you and Jaye while you focus for a while on baby Z. She WILL thrive at home. So happy for you all!

  15. Hoooooray! NICUs seem to spring discharge on you suddenly, rather universally.

    I love Mac’s attitude.

    Have a wonderful homecoming, Z!

  16. Wonderful news! I hope today/tomorrow is the wonderful day for you and your complete family!

  17. Wonderful news. I do hope you update us when you’re all home together! I’m sure you’ll be very busy for the next few months.

  18. Love what your husband said about having a lifetime together — brought a little tear to my eye! Hope the homecoming is even more awesome than I imagine it would be. Lots of love to you all. Very excited to hear what Jaye makes of all this!

  19. Our family is complete – oh, how I love the sound of that. I wish I could be there….sigh…. this is good, so good!

  20. Fingers & toes crossed for you that today is the day!! 🙂 Just so, so happy for you.

  21. YAY I hope you are at home and tired too! I’m sure she will do a ton better at home with all that human touch and love. Hope it all goes well, we will be thinking of you!

  22. Yippee! What wonderful news! 3 weeks is such a short time in the grand scheme of things.

    i hope you will be able to post a picture or two.

    I am so happy for you. I hope you don’t mind, but I use you as an example of “The chances are rarely zero” to have a surprise baby with infertility. I use it when *trying* to convince people ‘just relax’ works.

  23. So glad to know she’s home and eating. Much happiness to you all.

  24. Amazing news! She’s an awesome little girl with her mother’s strength and I wish you all a lifetime of love together.
    So very happy for all of you.

  25. I read your last line on the way to the airport. And within those 4 words is such a long journey.

    WIshing you a few weeks of busyness. The good and poopy kind 🙂

    But then come back and let us know how you are once in awhile!

  26. What wonderful, wonderful news! Wishing you much joy and happiness as you bring little Z home.

  27. Yay – happy homecoming!

  28. […] Last week Z’s pediatric team told us on Tuesday she could come home as early as Thursday if she kept eating and gaining. There was a lot of pressure on that little girl, and me too, since she did better on the breast than the bottle. But I was just along for the ride, and everything was on her time. There was pressure on Mac, as well, since he was returning to work after three weeks off. None of us had any idea how we would make this work, with child care, NICU visits, me unable to drive, and too few able hands. […]

  29. Love.

  30. […] Z pulled the tube out again and they gave her a chance to prove herself. Finally, as she approached three weeks old, her feeding improved and they started talking about […]

  31. […] very difficult week later, I was discharged. After two weeks, we moved back home. And three very long weeks later, we finally brought Baby Z home from the NICU. She weighed just five pounds. Only preemie […]

  32. […] when she would come home, whether she would eat well and thrive or not. But when we got word that she was up for discharge, my whole outlook changed. She was coming […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: