three weeks old
I hope this is the last post I will be able to write for a little while.
Not that I’m done blogging by any stretch, I’m just looking forward to our new life with some sleepless nights and being just too damned tired to write.
We think Baby Z may be coming home tomorrow.
I’m almost afraid to say it, to write it, to believe it. I’m afraid something will happen and they’ll decide to keep her just a little bit longer. The most likely scenario would be if she doesn’t gain weight tonight.
Yesterday morning when the doctors did their rounds, they said they had high hopes for her, they wanted to see her eat and thrive and go home. This week. As early as Thursday, possibly Friday, when she will be three weeks old. They know Z is not the best eater (yet!), but they think she’s doing well and they know she should do better at home.
I couldn’t help but tear up as they said it. There had been no word of discharge until that moment. The nurse gave me a hug and reminded me that she was there for Z’s delivery. She said it was so gratifying to be part of the team to stabilize a baby just after birth, then care for them and see them get discharged.
Our social worker — who told me that ours was the best story the NICU has had in a while — encouraged me to stay the night on a cot, to help establish round-the-clock breastfeeding and try to help her get home faster. They turn the waiting room into a sleep room at night, and I slept on a pull-out cot for about 2 hours. How strange to roam the halls again in the wee hours of the morning. Baby Z did surprisingly well which pleased everyone. Now she just has to grow.
Logistically it’s complicated as tomorrow is Mac’s first day back to work in three weeks, and he can’t not go. So he won’t even get to bring our new baby home from the hospital. But we’ll have a lifetime together, he says.
When we got home tonight, I felt a sense of awe and gratitude at our incredible good fortune. We just never thought this would happen. Yet here we are, about to bring our new daughter home, to join her incredibly fabulous big sister. I’m also wistfully wondering where our little baby Jaye went, and how she got to be so big all of a sudden.
Our family is complete.