parenting through open adoption and unexpected pregnancy after infertility and loss
September 2011: Our second daughter is born prematurely at 33 weeks 3 days. After 20 days in the NICU (for her) and a mandatory c-section and hysterectomy (for me) due to full placenta previa and placenta accreta, our family is finally complete, nearly four years after starting this blog. We begin life anew.
June 2011 (age 42): Unexpectedly discovered I was 4.5 months pregnant, after nearly 10 years of infertility and loss and being diagnosed as peri-menopausal in Fall 2010.
May 31, 2010: Baby Jaye turns one year old! Her birthday is celebrated by extended family and friends at a party the day before, with her birthmom Kaye, her birth grandparents and uncle.
March 11, 2010: Though she has already been part of our family since birth, Baby Jaye legally becomes our daughter according to the State of California when her adoption is finalized in court. She is 9 months old.
August-December 2009: Four post-placement visits in our home by the social worker who conducted our home study one year ago.
June 1, 2009: Baby J begins her forever life in our home and hearts. We all enjoy a fully open adoption with K and her family.
May 31, 2009: Baby J is born to K (on her due date!). We are there to welcome her to the world.
May 2009: I turn (gasp!) 40 and K reaches her 40th week of pregnancy! Is it possible I will finally become a mother at this point in my life? K’s due date is May 31.
April 22, 2009: We celebrate Earth Day by marking just 39 days (5.5 weeks) to go until K’s due date! We begin to work on what feels like a soon-to-be nursery…
March 21, 2009: K is nearly 30 weeks pregnant. My first uterine surgery was 7 years ago today. We first met K in person 3 months ago today; now there are just 10 weeks to go until her due date. This is starting to feel real…
January 20, 2009: K is 21 weeks pregnant. We all hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time with a doppler, the same day that Obama is sworn in as president.
January-May 2009: We spend lots of time getting to know K and her family, exchanging email updates, spending weekend afternoons together, and sharing meals. K invites us to attend regular midwife appointments.
December 26, 2008: K asks us to be the parents of her baby, due June 1!
December 2008: our outreach leads us to K, a young expectant mother who is making an adoption plan. We exchange several long emails before agreeing to meet in person.
October-November 2008: Still trying to finalize adoption outreach materials and outreach plan (letters, website, etc.). Waiting for our website to go live so we can do our outreach. Site goes live and outreach begins in late November.
September 2008: Home study complete! developing our outreach materials…
August 2008: Initial home study visit 8/8/08; home study proceeding; all paperwork has been submitted!
June 2008: Moving on to domestic open adoption; home study application submitted; June 24; the paper trail begins; considering the services of a consultant/facilitator
May 2008: I turn 39 (meltdown included), and the wind changes course…
April 2008: The last BFN (FET), most likely the last medicated cycle we will try. It doesn’t look good from here.
March 2008: Six years since my first uterine surgery. FET is postponed due to thin lining (7mm). Transferred 3 embryos March 24… and now the 2ww.
Feb. 2008: Begin protocol for FET #1 (first and last); estimated transfer date March 19