I haven’t had time to articulate the many posts swirling in my head, but I felt obliged to get out this inevitable one on gratitude.
It’s the season to acknowledge our bounty and blessings and give thanks for all we are fortunate to have.
To say this year has been full would be an understatement.
Life with a super active, willful toddler and a brand newborn — neither of whom sleep very much — has been a challenge. Yet even as I struggle to steal a few moments of peace, I have to cherish the chaotic moments too.
I am so very grateful for our family and for every force in the universe that brought us together.
I still thank K every day in my thoughts for making me Jaye’s mama. I am beyond grateful for the privilege of watching this incredible little girl, now a big sister, grow into the person she is becoming every day. When we call K tomorrow, I’ll simply tell her how much I love her, and how grateful I am that she too is in our life, as well as her mom and brother.
Sometimes I look at baby Z and I can’t help but simply ask in awe,”Where did you come from?” Because honestly, I don’t even know how she came to be. I give thanks to her soul for finding us, for finding me.
After years of cursing my body and my womb for its persistent betrayal, I have to offer up my prayer of thanks for its ultimate gift and sacrifice.
I am indebted to the NICU nurses and doctors who cared for little Z in her earliest days, and to everyone who helped her off to such a good start, who helped us bring her home.
I owe a world of thanks and love to Mac and the incredible support he has provided to keep our family strong. He is truly amazing. I honestly don’t know how single parents do it. Every. Day.
While I often lament the lack of support we get from our family and friends, I am grateful for how many stepped up when we needed it most. I am especially grateful to my aunt and uncle, who nurtured us while we lived with the uncertainty that took such a toll.
And finally, words can’t express my gratitude for the blogosphere and my tweetsters, including those who came out of the ether to express support, who served as my virtual lifeline when no one else was there (e.g., late nights in the hospital), who banded together to keep me going when I felt alone and scared. I really can’t explain how much all of your thoughts and words have meant to me and Mac. Special thanks to the love bombers, whose kind and generous words, thoughts and images brought me to tears on my way into the NICU one afternoon, tears of gratitude.
It’s also time to remember others for whom the thought of home might leave them longing for something else, something more — be it shelter, sustenance, love, safety, security, or a child or parent. To everyone who feels something or someone missing on this day, I wish you peace and abundance, today and always.