gratitude revisited

I haven’t had time to articulate the many posts swirling in my head, but I felt obliged to get out this inevitable one on gratitude.

It’s the season to acknowledge our bounty and blessings and give thanks for all we are fortunate to have.

To say this year has been full would be an understatement.

Life with a super active, willful toddler and a brand newborn — neither of whom sleep very much — has been a challenge. Yet even as I struggle to steal a few moments of peace, I have to cherish the chaotic moments too.

I am so very grateful for our family and for every force in the universe that brought us together.

I still thank K every day in my thoughts for making me Jaye’s mama. I am beyond grateful for the privilege of watching this incredible little girl, now a big sister, grow into the person she is becoming every day. When we call K tomorrow, I’ll simply tell her how much I love her, and how grateful I am that she too is in our life, as well as her mom and brother.

Sometimes I look at baby Z and I can’t help but simply ask in awe,”Where did you come from?” Because honestly, I don’t even know how she came to be. I give thanks to her soul for finding us, for finding me.

After years of cursing my body and my womb for its persistent betrayal, I have to offer up my prayer of thanks for its ultimate gift and sacrifice.

I am indebted to the NICU nurses and doctors who cared for little Z in her earliest days, and to everyone who helped her off to such a good start, who helped us bring her home.

I owe a world of thanks and love to Mac and the incredible support he has provided to keep our family strong. He is truly amazing. I honestly don’t know how single parents do it. Every. Day.

While I often lament the lack of support we get from our family and friends, I am grateful for how many stepped up when we needed it most. I am especially grateful to my aunt and uncle, who nurtured us while we lived with the uncertainty that took such a toll.

And finally, words can’t express my gratitude for the blogosphere and my tweetsters, including those who came out of the ether to express support, who served as my virtual lifeline when no one else was there (e.g., late nights in the hospital), who banded together to keep me going when I felt alone and scared. I really can’t explain how much all of your thoughts and words have meant to me and Mac. Special thanks to the love bombers, whose kind and generous words, thoughts and images brought me to tears on my way into the NICU one afternoon, tears of gratitude.

It’s also time to remember others for whom the thought of home might leave them longing for something else, something more — be it shelter, sustenance, love, safety, security, or a child or parent. To everyone who feels something or someone missing on this day, I wish you peace and abundance, today and always.

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~ by luna on November 23, 2011.

12 Responses to “gratitude revisited”

  1. In the (rare) quiet moments I breathe in the scent of my Peanut’s head and wonder the same … How did she come from me ? From us? When others didn’t make it & her Dad’s testing was so poor in results?!

    Luna, I’m still here when you need support or to vent … I get the very active toddler thing , while trying to care for an infant who has decided sleep shall be low on the list of her priorities, ugh!

    Please email me at anytime!!! It’s HARD, and our gratitude doesn’t negate that, nor make us ineligible for supportive acknowledgement of that reality. I have been so strengthened by women I’ve never met in real life but thru blogging, whom I now text with daily and get short bursts of support thereby.

    Much love.

  2. I was thinking about how today must feel for you. It’s almost overwhelming even from here. So glad for you that you’ve gotten to today with your life looking like it does. And I’m grateful for your friendship. xox

  3. Happy Thanksgiving! I have so so mcuh to be thankful for it is unreal and unbelievable. What a wonderful thanksgiving for your family, what an amazing and at times painful journey. I do hope everone decides to sleep because boy is the day a different day when you’ve had sleep at night.

  4. Happy Thanksgiving. Luna, to you, Mac and your lovely little girls. I think of you with a smile going into this holiday season!

  5. What a story! If someone had told you last Thanksgiving what you’d reflect back on THIS Thanksgiving, you’d have laughed them out of town.

    I’m celebrating your blessings with you. You are one of mine ❤ ❤ <3.

  6. It’s so nice to hear from you. I can imagine that life must be pretty crazy these days – exhausting, intense, amazing, wonderful – all at once! I always liked Thanksgiving – a holiday centered around food and loved ones but I’ve gained a deeper appreciation of what it can be in these past few years. I don’t think that we can ever revisit our gratitude too often.

  7. I loved reading this post… Happy Thanksgiving!

  8. You made me all teary. Happy Thanksgiving. 🙂

  9. I’m so thrilled that you have so much to be thankful for this year, that your life feels so full. It is inspiring to see.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your beautiful family.

  10. How lovely to hear from you! I’ve been thinking of you, and hoping that you were doing OK: as Ms J said, gratitude doesn’t in any way negate the fact that caring for a new-born and a toddler can be hard at times. I hope that you are finding ways of dealing with the tiredness, and that you yourself are healing after your recent surgery. Happy thanksgiving to you, Mac and your two little girls. xx

  11. Hurray for another holiday season filled with love and abundance. I still struggle with remembering some of the really tough and loss-filled holiday seasons, but it’s getting better… gradually. Thanks for this reminder about all the good things. So glad you guys are doing well. Looking forward to hearing more about life with 2 little ones once you are able to come up for air.

  12. beautiful:)

    can you please contact me…eyeswideopenmotherhood@gmail.com. thx!

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