sweetest patch

I can’t even do this post justice, really, so it makes me not even want to try.

Long-time readers may remember a post three years ago from a despondent woman who doubted whether she would ever become a mama. While I was genuinely excited about the prospect of building our family through adoption, when faced with a field of happy families at our pumpkin patch that fall, I was overwhelmed by grief, sorrow and doubt.

What I didn’t know then was that our daughter had already been conceived, though she wasn’t yet ours.

Two years ago, my heart was full as I held our cherubic five month old baby atop her first pumpkin.

Last year, I happily chased our newly toddling girl through muddy fields and watched her squeal with joy as she explored our local pumpkin patch.

This year? This year, our bounty is full. This year, we celebrate abundance.

As I tucked Baby Z into her carrier and Jaye ran around our local farm in search of the perfect pumpkin, I was overcome by our incredible good fortune. Awe. Gratitude. Joy. Not only is Jaye now old enough to thrill in the ritual of this annual event, but she has a little sister to share in the excitement some day. As I squeezed Mac’s hand while we strolled through the field, he felt it too. “Look at us,” I said, still in near disbelief. “Our family.

This year, though exhausted, I find myself excited about the season of Halloween too. Jaye is now old enough to choose her own costume and get into the spirit. We’re in a new neighborhood where we’re excited to belong and explore. And amazingly, we have little Z to complete our family.

This year we’ve already been to the pumpkin patch three times (actually two different patches), and we’re headed back on Sunday. Once we went as a family to our local farm, and twice I brought Jaye to play at a more commercial patch (even that one is a 30 acre farm, but complete with bouncy house and haunted house, etc.). This time, we’ll return to the more rural farm to spend the morning with families from our open adoption group, families who have shared our story and path, who will meet Baby Z for the first time. We’ve gotten such great support from them, including welcoming Baby Z to our community. I’m so grateful to have them in our lives as we continue to navigate the complexities of our blended families. I hope some day our children will also have each other to share in their own way.

When we began the process for our adoption outreach, our consultant suggested we should simplify our photo book. Too many pictures, she thought, we needed to eliminate some. “I get it,” she said. “You’re all about abundance.” I laughed, because she was right. We wanted to convey how much love we shared, what we could offer a child, how we would embrace openness. We do the same thing with food — i.e., better to have more than not enough.

This year, we truly celebrate the abundance in our lives.Wishing the same bounty to everyone who seeks it.

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~ by luna on October 20, 2011.

16 Responses to “sweetest patch”

  1. Such a beautiful post. Happy Halloween…no. Happy Abundant Halloween to you complete family! ❤

  2. My heart is bursting for you. I am honored to have been along for much of this ride. It’s heartwarming to read about your fruition. 🙂 Big big smile.

  3. I feel a little like a cheater because I hopped on board here just in time for the grand finale but I do wish I had been around longer. It’s all that much more special knowing just how long and arduous the journey has been. Congratulations!

  4. This is perfect. I love thinking of your family this way.

  5. What a wonderful post. I’m so happy for all that you have – two beautiful daughters, a complete family. What a truly amazing life you are living! I hope you enjoy many a pumpkin patch in the future.

  6. I thought of our shared childless pumpkin patch experiences like crazy after B&T were first born and several times last year, but it didn’t occur to me during any of our several pumpkin patch visits so far this year until this post. But, pumpkins will always be special to our family, and to yours too.

  7. Beautiful.

  8. Wow, what a great post! Thanks!

  9. Wonderful post.

    I think that your story really gives others hope as well. I always say to people who feel that they will never be parents: “If I can become a parent, you can too.”

    Happy for you!

    Signed, “a die hard pumpkin patch fan ;-)”

  10. I love it. Even though I’m wiping away tears. I’m so glad your arms are full.

  11. Tears. I remember the post that you did about going to the pumpkin patch as a couple and how hard it was and how much it hurt. I LOVE that this is the end/beginning of your story.

  12. Love the post and the photo!! And can’t wait to meet little Z at the pumpkin patch. Two families of four!! Who’da thunk?

  13. Just last night I looked at Joe and we were sitting on the couch and siad “We have 2 kids” its just amazing really, where we have come to and now our life, its so wonderful. Also nice to go to those sad places even though you remember the sadness now its full of happy times.

  14. I clearly remember reading your first despondent pumpkin patch post from way back when … The contrast between that woman and the one who wrote this post is absolutely marvelous.

    The pumpkins on our porch number 3 this year. I know we’re lucky now, but I’m so looking forward to next year when our photo will look like yours. It’s lovely to know that the place of abundance is actually possible : )

  15. such a lovely post. it’s so good to be able to look back and see where we’ve come from and how we’ve grown and changed. enjoy your beautiful abundance:)

  16. What beautiful memories you have to share with your girls as they get older. It really must have been wonderful to watch Jaye run amongst the pumpkins having a wonderful adventure. Just imagine next year they will both be running around together. What a wonderful site to see and to be able to realize that your family is complete!
    I think of you all often and it sounds as though your recovery is going well.
    It makes me smile to hear about your wonderful little family! I can’t wait to continue to hear as they grow up together and the adventures they will share!

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