…and a change of plans

Well it looks like this baby is coming today.

With some bleeding still, the team on duty didn’t feel comfortable risking an emergency situation over the holiday weekend. Just had six medical professionals surrounding my bed (well, five plus a student), laying out the plan and staring at me for reaction. It was impossible not to be overcome by emotion with all their eyes on me.

She’s coming, ready or not.

33 weeks, 3 days.

It’s not my doctor or her team, but I know we’ll still be in good hands. I’m grateful it’s not an emergency situation, which is far more risky for everyone. I know we’re at a world class facility with great care for us all.

But still. I wasn’t really ready for this.

Early this morning, when I couldn’t sleep in my hospital bed before the sun even rose, I had a little talk with this baby and this placenta. To her I said what I’ve said for weeks. Big and strong, little girl, big and strong.  To the placenta I said thank you for sustaining my girl all this time, but we need you to stay put, keep doing your job, just another week, please, give your blood to her.

But time is up now.

Mac is on his way to the hospital, sitting in traffic as I write these words. He will drop Jaye at my aunt and uncle’s house on the way, and she will later go to her cousins for a sleepover. I miss her. I’m not sure when I’ll get to hold her again.

Please continue to keep us all in your thoughts.

See you on the other side.

~ by luna on September 2, 2011.

55 Responses to “…and a change of plans”

  1. We’ll be waiting for word and wishing you the best.

  2. Hoping her delivery goes smoothly and according to plan. Good luck!

  3. We love you so much and are ready to welcome your little girl with you. Peace and strength to you all.

  4. Eeeep! You’re having a BABY today! I know it’s earlier than planned, and not the news you were hoping for, but…BABY! Hoping the surgery goes smoothly and the steroids have done their job for little girl’s lungs.

  5. Best of luck!

  6. Good luck, you and baby are in the thoughts and hearts of many who are rooting for you both.

  7. Wishing you the very best of luck, praying for a safe delivery, and chanting right along with you, “Big and strong, little girl, big and strong.” Can’t wait to hear the good news!

  8. Holding all of you closely in my thoughts.

  9. I’ve been thinking about you since I read your post last night night- many many good thoughts to all of you, but especially you and baby girl. Many good thoughts, we’ll be waiting to hear.

    Long time, mostly lurker,

  10. I’m a long time reader…wanted to say I’m thinking about you and your little girl. I hope everything goes well and that your recovery is quick so that you can focus on your newest family member. Love to you, Mac, Jaye and Baby Girl.

  11. love u , honey, and holding all 4 of you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Will be waiting for your joyous, positive update.

  12. You’re in my thoughts and hopes, luna. All of you. xoxoxo

  13. Oh my! Holding my breath and sending lots of hope, luck and love to you and that strong little girl!

  14. Hoping all goes well, and you have a healthy mommy and healthy baby!

  15. Sending an enormous amount of love from our whole family to yours (including from my own 33-weekers — the best sort of preemies in my humble opinion 🙂 I hope that it is an easy delivery and happy first hours. Please update when you get the chance. Holding you in my heart today.

  16. We are keeping all of you in our thoughts {{{{hugs}}}

  17. Thinking of you and your family, and wishing for a safe arrival of your baby girl — for both of you. wishing…hoping…there just aren’t words.

  18. Good luck! I will keep you in my prayers!

  19. Sweet Luna, you and your family will be very present in my thoughts until whenever it is we hear from you again. Until then, very best wishes to you all. Peace and joy!

  20. In my thoughts wish you and your little ones…life and good health.

  21. Look forward to hearing from you next! Love love love love to you all.

  22. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts across the ocean for a smooth delivery (as far as that’s possible in your situation), a speedy recovery and a strong little miracle girl. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

  23. Sending positive vibes from Vancouver! It’s truly happening.

  24. Thinking of you and sending wishes for big, big strength in your sweet girl. And you.

  25. Oh Boy – Jaye’s baby sister is coming! What an exciting day. No, it’s not what you had planned, but it’s the day that your family of three will become a family of four, which makes it the most perfect of all days!

    I’m sending all my good thoughts from the midwest.

  26. Best of luck!! You’re all in my prayers – can’t wait to hear the good news!

  27. Thinking of all 4 (!) of you. Hang in there!

  28. Thinking about you and hoping that the baby came with no additional complications. Can’t wait for an update and some pictures. 🙂

  29. Oh, Luna! I am sending loads of love and strength to all of you. Please know the Internet is surrounding you and your family in love right now!

    I’m also praying for a safe delivery for you and your miracle girl! Many hugs!

  30. Happy birthday little girl! Welcome to this crazy world where hundreds of strangers are thinking of you and your mama and hoping that she gets to see and touch you tonight!

  31. Happy birthday baby girl!!!!!!!! Sending you all the best thoughts!

  32. Much, much love to you and your new baby girl. ((((♥)))) Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

  33. Sending positive thoughts and good vibes to all of you.

  34. I think about you often, and it will be even more now. I can’t wait to hear the news that all went wonderfully and how beautiful your girls feel in your arms as you hug them both.

  35. 33 weeks + 3 days = Lucky number 9 to me! Prayers are with you during the entire procedure and may blessings be on your newest lovie!

  36. Many thoughts and prayers for you both…

  37. Thinking of all of you.

  38. Lots and lots of love and prayers being sent your way!

  39. Sending you many thoughts of strength and hope!!!!!

  40. omgomgomgomg. . . . thinking of you all, each and every teeny one of you, mightily. Please post when you can. Everything crossed. You are all in my thoughts.

  41. lucky 3s, hope you all sail through. Lots of good thoughts here!

  42. Cannot wait until your next post. Sending you love and strength (and cheering you on).

  43. You’re in my thoughts and prayers! I love the Spanish phrase for giving birth “dar a luz” or “to give to light.” All the best to you as you give light to your daughter.

  44. Be strong mama and baby, we are thinking of you

  45. You are all in my thoughts and I’m sending many good wishes your way and to baby girl that all will be well and that she’ll be big and strong. Hugs to you.

  46. PS I would love to send you one of my blankets I make for baby. If you would like one you can e-mail me an address. battynurse@gmail.com

  47. Just visited Twitter to find your Most Awesome News!!! Congratulations, Luna on your miracle baby! 33 and 3 is very lucky, indeed! I am so relieved to hear that you are both okay that I am crying tears of joy! Can’t wait for an update. Speedy recovery to you and tell that baby girl to fatten up so that you can bring her home!

  48. Anxiously awaiting an update, luna, and sending lots of love!

  49. Holding you in my heart tonight, Luna – hoping that all has gone well so far and that you and the little one are safe and sound and as close to snuggled up together as it is possible to be, under the circumstances. I have my candle lit for you all tonight – and sending all four of you much love, light, and healing energy.

  50. I am so thrilled and relieved that both of you are doing well. I remember my own hourlong ambulance ride, the uncertainty in triage, the (gulp) I guess it’s time, all too vividly.

    33w3d is an excellent number. So eager to hear about the birth, esp. accreta report. Perhaps Z was looking out for you by coming early. My twins were born at 33w4d, and if they had gone longer, my accreta could have been very bad.

    Z is doing marvelously if she was able to snuggle for an hour and a half on day 1.

    Wishing you as easy a recovery as can be expected and lots of strength to get yourself to the NICU.

    Wishing Z a short and uneventful NICU stay.

    Wishing Jaye an easy transition during your hospital stay and recovery and into big sisterhood.

    Wishing Mac some good radio for all of the driving that he’s about to do to juggle time with his three girls.

    Love to all of you.

  51. […] SF were surreal. But when the decision to wait it out on bedrest for a week abruptly changed to, no, let’s deliver this baby today, like in a couple of hours (aka, as soon as possible), well, everything changed. I was alone in the […]

  52. […] rush hour so it would take him much longer to get to San Francisco. When I called to tell him about the change in plans, he was having a rough morning with Jaye and he could barely hear me. I tried to remain so calm. He […]

  53. […] became clear that I wouldn’t be leaving until she came. The next morning they decided it was time. It was an extremely harrowing birth experience, to say the least. Yet Baby Z was welcomed to the […]

  54. […] lifeline to the world that night, and many before and since.) I remembered my tears when they said she would have to come even earlier, within hours. Every year as Labor Day weekend approaches, I imagine revisiting those moments that led to her […]

  55. […] hospital bed missing my husband and our two year old Jaye. I didn’t know it yet, but it was the eve of our daughter’s birth. Anyone who followed this blog back then may remember this was just one of many unexpected […]

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