One year ago today, we were remembering what it felt like to hope.
One year ago today, we were realizing the significance and symbolism of putting behind the darkest days as we awaited the sun’s return.
One year ago today, we embraced new possibilities.
One year ago today, we met K for the first time.
Today I am remembering that dark grey and wet afternoon, how the rain seemed it would never end.
Today I am remembering how nervous we all were that day — how M couldn’t even eat breakfast, how I combed my hair for like 20 minutes in the car, how when we got there early I wondered if she’d really show up and how I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t, how I asked M if he thought she was nervous too, and how when K walked in the first thing she said was “I’m a little nervous…”
Today I am remembering the minute she walked through the door and came over to us, how we each rose and embraced her and she responded with such a strong and grounding hug, her clear blue eyes looking right into my soul as if to say, I think I know you already…
Today I am remembering how easy the conversation flowed, how many topics we each had in common, how interested we all were in the other’s words, how three hours just flew by, how we connected…
Today I am remembering how, as much as I wanted to become a mother, I just wanted to support this young woman, whatever her decision may be…
Today I sit at home listening to the rain again, nursing our beautiful daughter back to health from her first awful cold… and I feel such gratitude.
Tomorrow we will celebrate the solstice with K, and we will remember together.