Call this the obligatory post on gratitude, but it must be said.

I have so much to be thankful for.

This time last year, we were beginning our adoption outreach in earnest. We had filed our initial paperwork six months earlier and we were more than ready to finally get started. The Friday after Thanksgiving, we sat at our kitchen table for a different kind of stuffing. In between leftovers, we stuffed hundreds of letters into envelopes and prepared to send them out into the universe. After giving up on trying to conceive with or without intervention, we were grateful merely for the chance to become parents.

Today I sit with our nearly six month old daughter, a beautiful little girl with a smile that warms my heart to no end. Every day I look at her in awe and tell her how lucky I am. Today my gratitude runs so deep there are no words.

A year ago, I had no idea that this would be my life today. I had only hope. I had to take a leap of faith.

A year ago, I sat through yet another holiday as the only childless woman in the room.

Today, we will join my family for our daughter’s first Thanksgiving, her papa’s favorite holiday.

It just so happens that another baby in the family is due any day now — a new cousin for Baby J and the last in a long line of second (and final) children for my siblings and cousins.

To those still longing to build your family, I wish you continued strength and grace to survive this holiday season. To those who are missing loved ones today, I wish you peace and contentment.

Today I am grateful that my mom has made it through another day. And while I am sad that she is spending this holiday far from home, I am thankful for the chance to see her again, and especially for her to see her granddaughter.

Today I am grateful for the Amazing M and the love and support he provides every day. Without him, I’m not sure I could have survived the past few years. Despite all of the loss in our lives and all of the challenges, today we are thriving after nearly 19 years together. I knew he would be such an incredible father, but to see it with my own eyes, well there just aren’t any words for that.

And of course today I am overflowing with gratitude for Baby J and her first family, who are now our extended family too. Today I’ll be thinking of K, imagining what this holiday season might feel like for her. Even though we can’t all be together today, I am grateful that we will see each other soon.


~ by luna on November 25, 2009.

12 Responses to “gratitude”

  1. Obligatory or not, beautifully put.

  2. Not my holiday today — but I for one am thankful for your continued eloquent posts. 🙂 Happy Thanksgiving!

  3. What a beautiful post.

    You are one of my blessings, Luna. 🙂

  4. Beautiful post. Happy Thanksgiving.

  5. Today I am grateful for my husband who is the epitome of rock steady right now.

    I am also grateful for your friendship and support through a very difficult time.

    I am also grateful for your little girl – she has given me hope.

  6. I am so glad for your happiness and your mother is in my thoughts.

  7. So much to be grateful for, it’s hard to put it all into words – but you, as always, do it beautifully.

  8. I know you wrote this for you, but it really spoke to my heart today. Thanks, Luna, for once again sharing your beautiful thoughts.

  9. I love this post–it’s just beautiful and the gratitude crosses the screen and sends chills down my arms as I consider the difference a year can make. Happy Thanksgiving, sweetie.

  10. Wishing belated seasonal blessings for you and your family!

  11. This is a lovely post luna

    Thinking of you and your mum at the moment

    love Barb

  12. […] the inevitable grief of losing my mother, whenever that may be, I know I have so much to be grateful for. While infertility still clouds and colors the way in which I experience the world, even from […]

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