the first 100 days

Hard to believe our baby girl is over three months old already. 14 weeks yesterday. 99 days old today.

First I’ll tell you a little about how I’ve been, then I’ll tell you about Baby J. So if you don’t want to read this, please just click away.

The biggest change in me has been my heart opening wide to feel such joy. I think I tried for so long to just muddle through while I yearned for something more and I was so unsatisfied — depressed, frustrated, at times hopeless (no need to link to my old posts, but it’s all there).

Opening up to embrace this little girl into our lives and hearts has been an incredibly transformative experience.

I know for those of you still longing for a child and striving to build your family, it might be painful to read about life with a newborn. I’ve been there, not so long ago. But the truth is, for those interested, I do want people to know how wonderful it is. I’m not just talking about finally becoming a mama. I’m talking about how pure a love I feel for this child that I did not carry or birth myself, who is not of my blood or genes.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I could not love this little girl any more if she came from my own body.

I feel so very lucky, and I tell her so every single day.

Such big changes between two months and three. She’s a real little baby now and not a tiny newborn. In fact she’s not tiny at all. She started to fill out her rolls a few weeks ago, as you can see here. By her three month check up, she had doubled her birth weight — something wholly breastfed infants apparently don’t usually do until about five months, according to our doctor. When I compare her to a newborn she looks huge (yet sometimes she seems so small!). She jumped from 50% percentile in all categories (totally average length, weight and head) to 95% for weight! By now she weighs about 16 pounds.

The girl likes her food, what can I say.

She is getting really strong and has way more control of her body. She can hold up her head and can almost roll over on her own. She is starting to pay attention to rhyming books. She reaches and grasps for things and loves to hold onto hands, fingers and hair, the edges of blankets and little stuffed animals. She communicates with little sing-song sounds that are very expressive. She nuzzles into your neck and just wants to be with you (for now anyway).

She is light and love; pure, gentle and joyful. A very happy baby.

Every day brings new and exciting changes and advances. That is really amazing to watch.

My two absolute favorite most recent developments?

Her laugh. Her full mouth smile turns into a giggle and then, if you’re lucky, a real cackle. It just melts your heart to hear it and to see her face light up.

And this past weekend, she slept through the night for the first time in 14 weeks. No promising she’ll do it again any time soon, but for at least one night it was awesome.

While I look forward to each and every future development with excitement, it’s hard not to wish she would just stay a tiny baby just a little while longer. The sweetness of her lumpy goodness, her toothless grin, her sing-song words, her rosy pudgy cheeks and roly poly thighs — they are all too delicious to disappear forever.

Every day is a perfect exercise in zen — just being with her, really with her, present and in the moment, without regard for what may come next. That is a luxury and a challenge for which I am so very grateful.

Happy 100 days, Baby J!  Your presence is a blessing of the most magical kind.

big smile 8wks

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~ by luna on September 6, 2009.

15 Responses to “the first 100 days”

  1. Sounds like you and Baby J are both developing well! She sounds like she is a happy baby. What a joy!

  2. Happy 100 days, to all of you!

  3. This is so inspiring, Luna, the joy you feel and the contentment. You’ve convinced me: The worry and anxiety are seriously worthwhile!

    I’m so happy you’ve reached this place. May you have many more hundreds of joyful days together.

  4. So happy for you Luna and M too. She is beautiful and I love that chubby picture of her.

  5. Is it an old wives tale that once a baby doubles her birth weight, she’s more likely to sleep through the night!? Someone told me that.

    Yay for joy, and for sleep! She is such a beauty.

  6. Wonderful post, and beautiful photo of baby J.

  7. Happy 100!! What a cutie she is.

  8. That’s too sweet Luna. She is cutie – objectively.
    It’s been a joy sharing in your journey. Thanks for your openess.

    love B

  9. Thrilled for you, Luna. How could I be anything but?

    Baby J is just so lovable. Totally.

  10. Beautiful post, luna. Your words have such a healing nature for my heart. Thank you for sharing your journey and your life with sweet Baby J. Happy 100 days to you all!

  11. Happy 100 Days! She is so beautiful and lovely.

  12. That’s a lovely newsletter Luna. All I can say is good job Mom and Dad 🙂 To give you a data point my son was in the NICU and it took him over six months to get to 16 pounds!
    And yes, I can relate to you on the crazy happy feeling.

  13. I am both happy and lucky to say that I know exactly what you mean.
    She is a beautiful little girl! Keep on enjoying every moment!

  14. Oh Luna. She’s beautiful. I am so very, very happy for you.

  15. […] then, I’ve posted updates about our beautiful girl on occasion (at 3 weeks, at 50 days, at 100 days, and at 6 months). We welcomed Baby J to our family with a beautiful celebration in August. […]

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