yesterday and tomorrow

I think this post also could be called “one step closer” or “what a difference a year makes.”

Last week, we received a letter from our adoption agency saying that the State of California considers our baby girl “legally free for adoptive placement” and asking us to sign a statement saying we understand that the agency, “in accepting us as adoptive parents, expressed confidence in our ability to meet the needs of the child placed in our home” and that we assume responsibility for this baby.

We are still more than six months from finalization, but yay! We are officially in post-placement. Yesterday was the first post-placement home visit by our social worker. There will be four visits over the next six-months before we can petition the court to finalize our adoption.

This was the first time our case worker had been to our house since our home study visit, which was one year ago tomorrow (can you believe it? turns out 8/8/08 was in fact very auspicious!). We did clean and get fresh flowers like last time, but this time we did not scrub, pace, or worry. Our case worker was excited to hear Baby J’s story, and I teared up thinking about her beautiful birth and telling how we said our goodbyes in K’s home.

Needless to say, it was quite a different experience than our visit a year ago, when I was concerned about the intrusiveness and relevance of the home study inquiries. Instead of talking about us and our preparedness to adopt, yesterday we sat with our baby girl and told her story while she smiled and cooed at us, and we took turns holding her and determining whether she needed to be bounced, changed or fed.

After asking how Baby J came to be with us, our social worker asked simple questions about her last pediatrician visit, her weight and length, eating and sleeping habits. Clearly, Baby J is thriving — she has gained 5 pounds and grown 2.5 inches in two months. Too bad there’s no measurement for cheeks!

We told our case worker about our relationship with K and the biological father. She seemed surprised by the extent of our relationship with K. I guess we are on the far end of “openness,” at least with K.

Finally, she asked how M and I were adjusting and handling the workload of new parenthood. We told her how very happy we all are (sleep be damned!), and she saw firsthand how Baby J’s smiles light us up.

What a difference a year makes, no?


~ by luna on August 7, 2009.

7 Responses to “yesterday and tomorrow”

  1. […] the limits Earlier I wrote a post titled “yesterday and tomorrow.” This one could aptly be titled […]

  2. I live for posts like this. I wish there were a way to bottle this and give it to people in the position you were in on 8/8/08.

    But that might robe them (us, really) of the exquisite joy that comes from exquisite pain.

  3. I’m very happy for you, and I hope that, someday, I get to feel like a year makes any difference. We just had our second failed adoption of the year last week — this time AFTER the birth, instead of months before — so we’re right back at square one, and no further along than we were this time last year.

  4. Amazing the difference a year makes, indeed! Yea! for this milestone! Oh, Luna, all I can think is, “how wonderful!” for all of you. “Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, and more wonderful…” (from LA Story)

    (Having met my new niece, I finally understand all the cheek-squeezing my sibs and I endured — there is nothing like happy-baby-cheeks, is there? Even sweeter, I’m sure, when they are the cheeks of *your* happy baby!)

  5. You have no idea how eagerly I await your posts and imagine you two fussing over Baby J. I can just see your faces. Of course, I am trying to glean any wisdom I can to help me chart the waters ahead……

  6. Indeed! Big smiles here for you!

  7. […] and tomorrow This morning we had our second post placement visit with our social worker. Like last time, it was an easy visit. I didn’t even get to really clean, and barely finished showering before […]

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