50 day update

Dear blogosphere,

Sorry I have not been in touch more often. It’s been so hard to find the time to sit down and write, though I have so much to say. As soon as I sit down to start typing, I am pulled away, distracted, diverted. Then the thought is gone…

This is the longest I’ve gone without writing in a very long time.

I’ve been trying to keep up with you too, but not so well I’m afraid. Even when I have a few moments to read, I can’t seem to find the time to write more than a sentence in response. I promise to try to be a better friend. Really.

Much has been going on here. Our little girl is growing and getting so strong. Baby J is now seven weeks old, or 50 days today. She is nearly 12 lbs and has gained more than two inches. She seems constantly hungry and must be growing by the minute. She explores her little body, stretching and squirming around all the time. She’s smiling at us now, which just melts my heart. Her coos and grunts are adorable. Each day is a new discovery.

We’re in a bit of a fussy phase, which can be challenging. I spend a lot of time dancing around the house to music and bouncing on the ball. A lot of time. Sleep interruption and other adjustments aside, I am doing well though. No doubt I am overjoyed to be this little girl’s mama. As hard as it can be, the joys outweigh the challenges, for sure.

I admit it does feel strange to be on the other side. I am still an infertile. I will always be infertile. Plus I will face new challenges as an adoptive parent. But as a new mother, all of a sudden I am welcome to a club that wouldn’t have me before. And that feels weird. Must explore this further.

Our adoption is moving ahead, which feels good. Though it will take more than 6 months to finalize, we are much closer to being baby J’s forever parents. M and I cried a little tear of joy at this beautiful idea.

Next week we have family visiting who have not yet met our precious girl. And they will meet K and her family. We are hoping for a positive blending of the families, without incident. If you knew my family, you’d appreciate and share this wish for us.

More soon, I promise.

xo, luna.

p.s. she is really sweet and precious, see?

baby J frog 6.5wks

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~ by luna on July 20, 2009.

18 Responses to “50 day update”

  1. Shes precious, Luna…so glad to “hear” the happy in your post.

  2. She’s adorable… glad things are going well! You’ve obviously been busy… hmmm, what’s my excuse? lol

  3. Oh, my goodness, Luna. Without the least bit of overexaggeration, I mean it when I say that she is breathtaking. There is simply no other way to describe how beautiful your little girl is and all of the bonding it took to get her here. She is precious.

    About now being on “the other side,” about a year ago I wrote this:

    “Sometimes, a lot of the time, actually, I feel stuck between two worlds. I identify more closely with the infertility community, but I have four beautiful children. Four. The abundance and life that are they is what it makes it possible for me to feel comfortable, if not somewhat unbalanced, in the fertile Land of Good and Plenty. I feel like they are my passport into that world. I am allowed to be there, but I am not from there. I can speak the language and know the culture, but it’s not in my blood. I sometimes feel like I am a traveler in a foreign land. At child-focused venues such as birthday parties, playgrounds, and school functions, I can’t help but wonder how many of those children are also passports, and if they are, I wonder if their parents feel as out of place – as lonely – as I do.”

    It’s odd that you write about this now, as this idea is one that for some reason has been weighing in my mind a lot lately. Even after all these years, I still feel out of place. It’s a good place to be in, of course, but I don’t think the awkwardness will ever let up completely.

  4. OMG luna, she is *precious*! Just precious. Who even has the energy to think about blogging when one has such adorableness to gaze upon? So very happy for you.

    xo

  5. Now I have to say…and I don’t say this often…that is one cute baby!

    And yes, it will feel weird for a good while, until the naturalness of parenting takes over from the ordeal of the journey getting here in the first place.

    And parenting at or after 40? Talk to me when she’s running around and you’re 46! 🙂

  6. Oh she’s beautiful. Whatever you blog about I’ll still be here reading. I’m glad that things are going well and hope that the meeting with family is great.

  7. Such a face! Just gorgeous!

  8. Awww..beautiful baby! Enjoying these updates immensely. I know it must be really tough for you to take time out to keep us all updated. Isn’t it surreal though – belonging to the other side? I sometimes am really amazed and can’t believe it happened.

  9. Beau.ti.ful.

    May the melding go smoothly.

  10. She is so beautiful. Are you on parental leave? Thanks for thinking of us – we really do want to know what’s going on and methinks I’m going to need some support. Give you her a squeeze for me. What’s her name?

  11. She is precious, Luna. And I’m so happy to hear from you to know things are going well. May the family gathering be heartwarming and peaceful 🙂

  12. It’s good to hear from you that you’re all doing well. She is so adorable. I remember the first smiles and how I melted. I know you’re still adjusting to being a mom and it still feels weird, but I promise as time goes on, it will not. It was always easy for me to care for our son, and I certainly felt like his mom at 3am when he woke up to eat, but I didn’t truly feel like “a” mom for a few months.
    I hope the families enjoy each other.

  13. OMG, she is beautiful!

    “But as a new mother, all of a sudden I am welcome to a club that wouldn’t have me before”

    So true – I still don’t know how to behave in that regard.

    Do you still long for your mutually genetic child at times?

  14. Wow, she is beautiful! It’s great to hear an update from you. I hope everything goes well with the meeting of the families.

  15. She really is. You sound well my friend, in all the new challenges facing you…. but you always do seem to carry your challenges so well.

    love B

  16. She’s a beaut! I am so glad you DON”T have time to write:) That is how it should be. Enjoy her, enjoy it, as you are finding out I am sure, it goes by too quickly, even when it seems it is not.
    xxoo

  17. She is so beautiful 🙂

  18. […] as much since then, I’ve posted updates about our beautiful girl on occasion (at 3 weeks, at 50 days, at 100 days, and at 6 months). We welcomed Baby J to our family with a beautiful celebration in […]

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