6 months and 3 weeks later…

Wow. Thank you all for your extremely kind and generous thoughts, words and good wishes. I seriously can’t thank you enough for every single comment and email over the past few weeks. It took me a while to get through them…

Just six months ago, our lives were transformed when we were asked to parent the yet-to-be-born baby of an amazing young woman. Just three weeks ago, we actually became parents.

The past few weeks have been quite a whirlwind. I’ve been wanting to update to let you know that all is well and we’ve been adjusting to each other and to our new (lack of) sleep pattern.

I really don’t know where to begin with just a few minutes to spare. I thought I was an efficient multitasker, but it turns out I’m not. I’ve barely had time to shower, or water the plants, or keep us all fed.

Plus I know I’ve been a very bad blogger. Aside from not updating, I’ve had no time to keep up with you. I’m barely on top of my email. Please know I still think of you and wish you well too. I’m looking forward to getting back online soon, maybe.

Also I’m struggling with how much or how little to say here about our little baby girl and her amazing story. Not sure I should share her name or too many details or pictures, or whether I should protect some posts with a password, or what. For now I will say this.

Baby J is doing great, finally regained her birth weight and then some. She is beautiful and appears to be quite healthy. Breastfeeding is not going so well, but she is getting some milk and plenty of good formula.

K is doing well too. She was inspired by such a beautiful and powerful birth. I’ll have to share that story another time though. K has been healing amazingly well and is eager to embrace her new life and body without this beautiful baby inside. She says she is happy and at peace. She signed her papers last week, but they are on hold until we deal with the bio-father’s termination of parental rights, which is moving forward.

What else? Do I feel like a mother yet? Hard to say, even though I tell her “mama’s here” when she cries. I do feel like this little girl’s mama, but I don’t identify as a mother. Wonder if I ever will.

Maybe the most important thing is this: I could not love this little girl any more if she came out of my own body. That is the honest truth.

Plenty of other thoughts I’d like to share, but there’s not enough time…

The first time I felt her soft breath rise and fall on my chest, I cried tears of joy. The sweet sound of her cooing and squeaking makes me smile. She has big rosy cheeks and her whole face turns red when she gets upset. Music seems to calm and soothe her. Holding this tiny bundle of joy makes my heart soar. She might just be the most kissable baby ever.

Showing her off to family and friends has been wonderful. Suddenly it seems we are proud parents. More than anything, I can’t tell you how happy M and I are to (finally) be a dynamic trio.

It is wonderful, and yes, it is hard too. But I won’t complain.

I’m trying to cherish every precious minute because I know she will grow so fast. She already has.

Hard to believe baby J is already three weeks old.

Hard to believe we first met K just six months ago yesterday.

How much time can change in half a year.

I am so grateful to have found our path to this child, our child.

Happy Summer Solstice everyone.

And Happy Father’s Day to every prospective papa out there. It’s a happy day here for M…

~ by luna on June 21, 2009.