6 months and 3 weeks later…

Wow. Thank you all for your extremely kind and generous thoughts, words and good wishes. I seriously can’t thank you enough for every single comment and email over the past few weeks. It took me a while to get through them…

Just six months ago, our lives were transformed when we were asked to parent the yet-to-be-born baby of an amazing young woman. Just three weeks ago, we actually became parents.

The past few weeks have been quite a whirlwind. I’ve been wanting to update to let you know that all is well and we’ve been adjusting to each other and to our new (lack of) sleep pattern.

I really don’t know where to begin with just a few minutes to spare. I thought I was an efficient multitasker, but it turns out I’m not. I’ve barely had time to shower, or water the plants, or keep us all fed.

Plus I know I’ve been a very bad blogger. Aside from not updating, I’ve had no time to keep up with you. I’m barely on top of my email. Please know I still think of you and wish you well too. I’m looking forward to getting back online soon, maybe.

Also I’m struggling with how much or how little to say here about our little baby girl and her amazing story. Not sure I should share her name or too many details or pictures, or whether I should protect some posts with a password, or what. For now I will say this.

Baby J is doing great, finally regained her birth weight and then some. She is beautiful and appears to be quite healthy. Breastfeeding is not going so well, but she is getting some milk and plenty of good formula.

K is doing well too. She was inspired by such a beautiful and powerful birth. I’ll have to share that story another time though. K has been healing amazingly well and is eager to embrace her new life and body without this beautiful baby inside. She says she is happy and at peace. She signed her papers last week, but they are on hold until we deal with the bio-father’s termination of parental rights, which is moving forward.

What else? Do I feel like a mother yet? Hard to say, even though I tell her “mama’s here” when she cries. I do feel like this little girl’s mama, but I don’t identify as a mother. Wonder if I ever will.

Maybe the most important thing is this: I could not love this little girl any more if she came out of my own body. That is the honest truth.

holding hands

Plenty of other thoughts I’d like to share, but there’s not enough time…

The first time I felt her soft breath rise and fall on my chest, I cried tears of joy. The sweet sound of her cooing and squeaking makes me smile. She has big rosy cheeks and her whole face turns red when she gets upset. Music seems to calm and soothe her. Holding this tiny bundle of joy makes my heart soar. She might just be the most kissable baby ever.

Showing her off to family and friends has been wonderful. Suddenly it seems we are proud parents. More than anything, I can’t tell you how happy M and I are to (finally) be a dynamic trio.

It is wonderful, and yes, it is hard too. But I won’t complain.

I’m trying to cherish every precious minute because I know she will grow so fast. She already has.

Hard to believe baby J is already three weeks old.

Hard to believe we first met K just six months ago yesterday.

How much time can change in half a year.

I am so grateful to have found our path to this child, our child.

Happy Summer Solstice everyone.

And Happy Father’s Day to every prospective papa out there. It’s a happy day here for M…

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~ by luna on June 21, 2009.

43 Responses to “6 months and 3 weeks later…”

  1. Thanks for the update, Luna. Despite how busy you clearly are, this all sounds incredibly positive!

  2. Crying so happy for you. So so wonderful, Luna. Just so wonderful.

  3. This brought tears to my eyes. So nice to hear a happy ending/beginning. 🙂

  4. Your happiness radiates through this post. I’m so glad. You deserve it!

  5. Tears, yet again. When I think of how far you’ve come along your path since my own path crossed with yours 1.5 years ago…it’s just amazing and gives me hope. (((HUGS))) to you and your new at home family and extended family through K.

  6. Oh what a precious pic … to match a beautiful post. XOX

  7. Glad you are all doing ok. Hugs to you.

  8. What a beautiful little hand! Glad you’re all adjusting reasonably well.

    The next Thoughtful Thursday is on exactly the topic you bring up about much to share about her on your blog. Stop by eventually if you get a chance — the reason I chose it as a topic is because I’m not sure what to do myself, but I’m sure the commenters will have all sorts of wisdom.

    Happy Father’s Day to M, and happy every day to you!

  9. I’m basking in your glow.

    Happy Father’s Day to M!

  10. Oh what a lovely update on Father’s Day. Happy Father’s Day M! Luna, I have a six month old the fact that I am this baby’s mother is registering very slowly 🙂

    Enjoy this time. Yes, soon you will look back and realize it all went by in a daze..

  11. When you mentioned not being able to multitask or keep everyone fed, etc., my first thought was that you definitely sound like the mama of a newborn to me!

    Congratulations again. I am so happy for you guys, and reading this update just makes me grin.

  12. Beautiful Luna – thanks for the update.
    This is one of the most amazing parenting stories I have ever read and it has been such an honour to follow it.

    Enjoy

  13. Happy to hear from you! I can feel the happiness you’re feeling through the internet … wonderful, long-awaited, radiating joy. 🙂

  14. I am so glad to hear that you are all doing well. I remember how hard those first several weeks are and totally understand your lack of blogging. I also remember trying to figure out if I felt like a mom. My husband and I felt like frauds the first few times we took our son out with us, especially to Babies.R.Us. It took a while for it to really sink in that I was a mother. Trust me, you WILL feel like a mom. It happens gradually. I’m so very happy for you. BTW, there is a place where her name is revealed. You can email me at hope548 at gmail dot com and I’ll tell you where it is.

  15. This post made my day, Luna. Thanks for sharing. So glad this is unfolding with so much joy.

    And happy belated father’s day to the amazing M!

  16. Blessings have been bestowed upon all of you . . . to Baby J for having so many people committed to giving her Life, and then making sure she had just the right people to nurture her; to K for choosing a plan that is so brave and full for Baby J; for you and M for being so brave to “try” (and in a completely different way) just one more time.

    The bounty is enormous for this harvest, it is clear.

    I feel so privileged to been able to peek in upon your story.

  17. I love this post and it made me cry. I am just so happy for all of you.

  18. Wow!! Glad to hear things are all going so well!!

  19. I could write a book about how happy I ma for you but I wont becasue I know how busy you are right now. I promise…the routine gets easier…it takes time for a NEW MOM to and her baby to get into a routine and just when you think you have it down…they change! It’s wonderful and frustrating all at the same time. Welcome to motherhood.

  20. That is the sweetest picture, and the post just glows. I am so flipping happy for you! And for K too, as she seems to be on the road of her own choosing and on her own terms.

    Also, any chance you can email me your address? I’d like to send baby J a little something. 🙂

  21. P.S. Happy (almost) anniversary, right?

  22. Beautiful. Just beautiful. Thanks for the update. Keep working on the BF – you can do it! (Not that you HAVE to, just trying to be encouraging)

    Glad to hear all is well with K too.

    Enjoy, enjoy, sleep, enjoy!

  23. So good to hear such beautiful words and thoughts coming from you. Enjoy these days, they go by far too quickly and before you know it you will be chasing a toddler around and wondering where your baby girl has gone.
    And sleep, whenever you can!!!
    xxoo

  24. Congratulations mama! I’m so happy to get any little nugget we can about your new family. Soak it all in, it’s a wonderful time.

  25. Oh, this all sounds so new-baby-luscious … and familiar. I already miss that early tiny baby time. People kept telling me to treasure it because it goes so fast, and I remember thinking “of course I am, and of course it does” and then here we are at 6 months and I’m thinking about how different and vivid-through-a-haze life was then and wondering how I could have soaked in more of it while it lasted. It’s a precious time (and occasionally very very hard), and I’m so over-the-moon happy for you!!

  26. I’m so glad to hear you’re having no sleep and it’s all working out wonderfully. Yay yay yay!

  27. So, so happy for you, Luna.

  28. thanks so much for this update. gosh – i am just so happy for you. thank you for bringing me along on the journey. i cant’t tell you the joy and renewed hope you have given me (and certainly many others).

    i love how you wrote that there is no way you could love her more if she had actually come out of your body.

    i understand your thoughts on how much information to share – you might want to password protect certain posts – just a thought.

    thanks for checking in!

  29. Such beautiful little perfect fingers. I felt out of place when we took our son home, I felt almost as if I was kidnapping him!LOL! You will ease into that feeling of motherhood and it will dawn on you in between sleepless nights and daytime snuggles that she really is yours, at least that’s when I felt it.

    Congrats again. Oh, and I do wish I knew her first name, but understand the reluctance to post it.

  30. Wondrous. I’ll read whatever you want to tell. With love to you all.

  31. How wonderful 🙂 Glad things are good, albeit hectic, but good. I am so happy for you all.

  32. I can’t tell you how overjoyed I am to read this and to see your baby girl safe and sound with her family. It’s been a long road for you (what an understatement), but what a beautiful beginning to this new chapter. I am crying tears of joy for you. Congrats, again!

  33. Congratulations. I love beginnings.

  34. I’m so glad you updated. I’ve been thinking about you and the breastfeeding. I’m sorry it isn’t going as well as you’d like. But I’m so glad everything else is going well (and busy)! And I LOVE the happy tone of the post 😉

  35. I’m just at peace for you reading this update. Enjoy every minute and pop back in once in awhile if you can find the time!

  36. I am so happy your beautiful baby girl is here. “I thought I was an efficient multitasker, but it turns out I’m not. I’ve barely had time to shower, or water the plants, or keep us all fed”…any new mom who tries to claim any differently either has a nanny or is lying.

  37. I came over from LFCA, and I, too, love the picture.

    For whatever it’s worth, my early time with my newborn, whom by body had gestated and birthed, felt much like yours. I did not feel like a “mama.” Sometimes (2 years later) I still don’t. Yet he … he, not I … knows I am his mama, a miracle, every day.

    Congratulations. Many wonderful moments lie ahead.

  38. Luna – thanks so much for the update. It’s so great to hear how you and baby J are doing. I definitely felt/feel the same way in terms of being a mama. I have always felt like little A’s mom, yet it was hard to adjust to having others see me as a mom.

    Ahhhhh, babies are just the best. I know just how much you are enjoying her. Blessings to you all….

  39. I am a mom of an adopted baby too. You WILL feel like a mother eventually. Although I loved my son intensely from the day I laid eyes on him – it took me a good six months before I didn’t feel like a fraud, and over a year before I didn’t think about his adoption every second of the day. He’s three now, and we finally feel “normal”.

  40. I’m sorry I’m so incredibly late to this. I’m over-the-moon for you, and your wee one, and your newfound parenthood. (Incidentally, it took me a while to accept Bella, and she sprouted from my loins — I’m thinking after IF there’s a bit of wonderment that you’ve finally arrived, no matter the stork.) Holding my breath on the parts where it still needs holding, and looking very much forward to the next installment, no matter how cryptic and anonymous like.

    Much love.

  41. I love how you described so much of this, Luna. I’ve been wanting to write about what it’s been like to bring our little guy home and to finally be the family we’ve dreamed of — but I’m at a loss for the right words. All I can do right now is feel it. And try not to cry big cheesy happy mama tears all day!

    Nice to know I am not alone watching Sham-Wow infomercials at 3 am and covered in sticky milk… life is truly beautiful. Huge hugs to you and the family!

  42. […] said it before and I’ll say it again. I could not love this little girl any more if she came from my own […]

  43. […] written as much since then, I’ve posted updates about our beautiful girl on occasion (at 3 weeks, at 50 days, at 100 days, and at 6 months). We welcomed Baby J to our family with a beautiful […]

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