what a week

There’s not even much I can really say except there is some freaky shit going on here. 

We knew there would be hurdles. We knew there would be uncertainty. We knew we would have no control

We knew that whatever would happen would happen, and all we could do is keep doing what we’re doing.  

And remember to  b r e a t h e . . . 

I haven’t written too much about our ongoing interactions with K, aside from here. This is mainly because I feel compelled to protect her privacy and to ensure respect for K’s story as well as her baby’s. I could try to write only about how I am affected, but it is hard to do that without being too obscure or disclosing much about the situation. It is also sometimes so difficult to write about something as you’re going through it. Often I need the perspective that time and distance provide.

Without divulging too much, I can say that this has been a whirlwind of a week. We are dealing with some complex issues related to K’s family and the baby’s biological father. While K’s mom has been immensely supportive of K and her plan at every step, there are others who have not. K is an amazingly intuitive and grounded young woman, yet she is very sensitive. The events of the past week have had a tremendous impact on K and she has had to work even harder to move forward. As if this might not be hard enough. 

The most important thing to us is what K wants and ensuring that she is well supported and comfortable with her ultimate decision, whatever it may be. While K may experience many things on her own journey, we would never want her to feel pressure or regret. This is true whether she places with us or not.

This week, K has had to deal with those people who have not  been so supportive. It is sad to see the power plays by the men in her life, while the women truly want to empower her. I only hope that she is able to be true to her heart, even if what it wants may evolve. 

This week, K plans to go see the baby’s father for the first time in months. She wants to get him on board with the adoption plan and  hopes it goes smoothly. We have not yet met him. She wants to do this visit on her own. Rather than send our materials with K to share, we sent her with a beautiful card that M and I both hand wrote to him. We want him to know where we are coming from, that our intentions are pure, and that, should we become this child’s parents, our door would always be open to him. We have no idea about the outcome of this meeting, or really whether it even happened. 

This week, we also had to deal with an especially aggressive lawyer, gently but firmly explaining she needed to back the fuck off, and I admit I was quite pleased with myself. But really, that was nothing compared to what K is facing right now. Send the woman some love, will you?

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~ by luna on February 12, 2009.

23 Responses to “what a week”

  1. Jeebus, sometimes I hate men. Let her know I have her back in the virtual kinda way, and I’m thinking of her tons.

    You’ve got such a great attitude about this whole thing. I’m thinking of you, too.

  2. 9 months is such a long time, not only to wait, but to make a decision and then to have that decision second-guessed by yourself and everyone else.

  3. Sending many, many megawatts of love and light her way.

    And yours, too.

  4. Hi Luna, the entire journey, even after placement, yields surprises, pain, and joy – no doubt. I will send some love to K of course.

    I’m wondering, are you working with a counselor or social worker? I found our counselor so helpful when I was losing my mind . . .

  5. Sending many warm and positive thoughts to both you and M and to K.

  6. Love to you all. You have so much integrity in this process, I have to believe it will end with the best possible situation for K and her baby.

  7. I’m sending all of you some love. I stand in awe of the way you and M are handling this delicate process, and I hope and pray that despite the negative influences around her, K’s heart will continue to hold her resolve to place. I do pray for her peace and comfort no matter what happens, but I so badly want to see this end with you and M holding a baby.

    I’m always thinking of you and praying for the process. Always.

  8. I’ve been praying for you guys and for K. It must be heartwrenching to go through this and only be able to watch. I’m sending all my love your way.

  9. My heart aches for K, and for you and M. I hope K finds her way, and that these difficult days are soon a thing of the past.

    Take good care of yourself! And if that self-care involves yummy things, you know photos are always welcome! 🙂

  10. I’m sending you both love. Especially, I’m sending her strength. Luna, you sound like you’re handling this so well. Grace is the word that comes to mind.

  11. ” It is sad to see the power plays by the men in her life, while the women truly want to empower her.”

    This really struck a cord with me. I think I understand what you are saying. And it saddens me profoundly.

  12. Sending love and light to K, and to you and M as well. May each of you find the inner stillness and wisdom you need to carry you through to what will be best for each of you.

  13. I’m so sorry luna. This is a time of such mixed emotions that just figuring out how you’re feeling at any given moment must be confusing. The male-female dynamic in K’s life right now is so interesting and tragic. Sending best wishes for strength, tranquility, and clarity for you all.

  14. What a rollercoaster, for you guys and for her. I will keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there.

  15. I’m sending her love–and peace of heart.

    But I’m also gently holding onto your heart (and M’s) because life is fragile and you have a lot on your plate and I’m just sending good thoughts.

  16. Love to all of you, and positive thoughts. I’m sorry that so much has been thrown in your paths. I hope that soon things will clear up and get easier, and that in the end things work out.

    Cyber (*hugs*) to you Luna.

  17. I hope K finds the strength to stand up to the men in her life. Sending her positive energy..

  18. Sending you all some strength and support…this can’t be easy — on a whole bunch of levels — for all involved. sigh. I hope it moves in the direction that makes everyone feel satisfied. I’m here if you need me…

  19. Sending all the strength and fortitude I can, for all of you. I hope K continues to be surrounded by those who will support her and her choices, and will listen to her voice, not quiet it.

  20. It seems to me that you are handling the situation with the utmost of grace and integrity, Luna.

    I am thinking of both you and K as you try to navigate this difficult path.

  21. Catching up on some blog reading, & I was sorry to hear you’ve hit some bymps. K sounds like an amazing your woman, & I hope she can disentangle herself from the patriarchy. (((hugs))) as you wait.

  22. […] thing we can not provide; we can only work to ensure that it is accessible. Of course we hope that the rest of the baby’s family comes around too, in […]

  23. […] had been moving relatively smoothly since December, aside from one hectic week a few months ago. Of course we always knew the situation could change at any moment. We just […]

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