augustus busy

August is virtually booked and it hasn’t even begun. And I thought I was busy already. Meetings, appointments, deadlines. That doesn’t even include work-related things. This is proving to be quite a busy month. So much for the summer lull. 

The adoption paperwork threatens to overtake my desktop and datebook. My to-do list is a full two pages long. That’s a lot of things to do in a very short time.

In the past few days, I scheduled five appointments over the next three weeks, completed and submitted an application for our consultant/facilitator, gathered forms to distribute and compiled documents for review, rallied our first reference, worked with M to find a new doctor and get him in for a physical, had a TB test, found us a counselor, finished an excellent book on open adoption, completed a first draft of a letter for our “profile,” and updated a spreadsheet of estimated expenses, which are growing by the day, by the way. 

Our home study is finally moving ahead. Thank you all so much for your support and comments about our initial home visit next week (on 08/08/08, very auspicious!). M and I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. We’ve already scheduled our individual visits for mid-August, because that’s how we roll. (Actually, with everyone’s summer vacations, they would have had to wait until September if we didn’t schedule them now.) After that, we’ll have one last meeting with the caseworker to clarify any outstanding questions, probably in September. 

Our task by the end of the month — or by the time we leave town for a few days before labor day — is to gather the last of the documents we’ll need to complete our home study, continue to educate ourselves about the open adoption process (by reading a lot to overcome misconceptions and fears), and do everything we can to prepare for the next phase: outreach.

In a few weeks we’ll also have a four-hour intake meeting with our consultant, at which time we will be given yet an additional set of tasks to do, after reviewing such important issues as: why we want an open adoption, what level of openness we’re comfortable with, what are our fears about the process, how we cope with difficulty, etc. We must survive this phase before we even get to the outreach phase. To prepare for this meeting, we each have to write one last set of essays (our third and final set of questions, we hope). 

Once we sign with our consultant and survive the intake, she and her associate will help us develop a fine looking set of materials for our “profile.” Then we’ll have to decide how much we’ll spend to design, print, web host, mail, market and outreach our profile. But we can’t do any of those things until we develop compelling content and images to convey how wonderful we are. From what we’ve heard, this process will take much longer than we think and can get very expensive. But we’ll save that for September…

I should point out that we’re opting out of our agency’s outreach program and choosing instead to use those funds to do our own outreach with the consultant’s guidance. Our agency has nearly 70 waiting families and we would fall to the bottom of that long list. Two years is not an uncommon wait with our agency. Our facilitator has maybe 20 waiting families at different stages, and we are more confident that we’d be “matched” through her or our own efforts, hopefully sooner than later.

Oh, and speaking of waiting, we’re also signed up for a support meeting for waiting families through our Resolve spin-off in August, as well as a workshop series on preparing for domestic adoption in the fall.

It seems every step we take is a reminder of how many steps still await. Some days are for checking things off the list, but today the list just got longer. One day at a time… 

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~ by luna on July 30, 2008.

23 Responses to “augustus busy”

  1. eep. It’s a different set of waiting and benchmarks, isn’t yet. And yet oddly familiar. Best to you Luna, keeping you in my thoughts!

  2. Each day – whether good, bad, slow, or busy – is one day closer. The that glorious day is somewhere in the unknown distance, it is an immovable date with a known, welcome conclusion. Each day is one day closer, the gap between there and here closing. So, even the days when your list gets longer, you’re still one day closer. And that, my friend, leaves me feeling overjoyed for you. 🙂

  3. Yikes! So much to do. I hope that you’re feeling, as Kymberli says, that each day and each step are bringing you closer to your child, and I hope that you feel comforted by that. As always, I keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and wish you peace and clarity in the midst of all there is to do.

  4. In the midsts of the very same paperwork, doctor appointments and infant cpr classes, I have to say I’m actually jealous. My agency won’t even schedule a home study until we finish archiving and documenting every last detail about ourselves. In other words, they won’t even get us on the books until every last bit of paperwork is done. Isn’t that depressing.
    On the other hand, once we’re done the wait shouldn’t be too bad. I don’t know where you are, but another blogger in an entire different part of the country used this same agency (I randomly met her through my own blog after we had settled on our agency) and they had their beautiful little baby girl w/in six months. If you’re interested, I can send you the name.

  5. I have loads of books that you might be interested in so just check with me. I got tons off paperbackswap and was able to complete all my required readings that way. Sounds like you guys are moving great guns ahead!

    We’ll be at that meeting for waiting families in August as well! Perhaps drinks/dinner after?

  6. Another must-read post for the “just adopt” crowd.
    I am sorry things are so crazy busy, and that the list keeps growing on you. Hopefully soon it will be only getting shorter. But it does seem you need stamina and patience to get there.
    Thinking of you.

  7. I know it’s crazy-busy, and there is a LOT to do, but do you find that it feels good to DO something? Does if feel like you have a measure of control over things?

  8. My head is spinning just reading this. But it’s somehow really helpful to know what it takes to adopt. It bumps my respect for adoptive parents even higher.

    I know you’ve got what it takes, and that you’ll get through this crazy crunch month, AND that Triple Eight Day will be a wild success!

  9. Luna, this is so exciting! Personally, I really enjoy checklists and a jam-packed appointment book. Feels satisfying somehow. But of course all these steps must seem insane, too.

    It’s such a privilege getting to read about this process as it happens — I am definitely getting an education and look forward to checking out the book you mention. We’re still not sure which kind of adoption would be right for us, and I’m amazed that it’s not becoming clearer no matter how much I research!

  10. Glad things are moving along. It does seem like this stuff takes forever and the volume of paperwork is quite overwhelming. I am sure you and your to-do list can handle it with grace.

    Good luck!

  11. This must seem daunting at times and yet wonderful that you are moving towards becoming parents. Thank you for sharing all of the details, as my husband and I are pondering an open domestic adoption ourselves. I appreciate hearing your insights.

  12. As Julia has already said, this post should be required reading for anyone who thinks adoption is the quick and easy option!

    Thinking of you as you continue to assemble your mountains of paperwork and to schedule all your various appointments. Just think – with each item you check off your ‘to do’ list, you are one step nearer to becoming parents!

  13. Wonderful to hear things are moving forward. It all sounds very exciting, yet so overwhelming. I tend to get energized by the hustle and bustle of being busy. Hope you’re not too worn down when August comes to a close. Also hope you will be a bit further along in the process.

  14. If you’re in reading mode, I totally recommend “Making Room in Our Hearts” by Duxbury. It’s excellent. Not that you need another thing to do!

    Congrats on every little step forward. They really are steps forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

  15. one day at a time Luna, you said it. i can see how this road can be daunting, yet your child waits at the end. and isn’t it wonderful how no matter how long your to do list is, it’s still your list for you to control. you have gained so much control back. it’s not the same level of uncertainty as before.

  16. Oh wow that sounds like a lot. And it always amazes me how many hoops need to be jumped through to adopt. Congrats on all the things you get to check off on your to do list. Hope the month and all the steps go well.

  17. That is the most over whelming list of things to do. Thank goodness you are so organised and logical.
    It will all be so worthwhile in the end.

  18. I am exhausted just reading this. But I’m glad things are moving forward, even if it feels overwhelming.

  19. I know long lists can be daunting, but somehow I’m always comforted by the idea that it’s all there in front of me, rather than growing to some formidable giant or something on my shoulders. Makes it concrete somehow. The checking off the list, of course, is the best part.

    It’s amazing how complicated this process is, and infuriates me further when people say “just adopt.” But it sounds like you’ve got a plan, and support and I can hear the energy in your voice as you undertake this new journey. I know I’ve been quiet lately, but I’ve been routing for you from the sidelines. Go, Luna, Go!

    Sending my love.
    S

  20. […] amidst furious house cleaning for our initial home study visit this Friday and more pre-adoption busywork, we had house guests. No, not the kind of visitors that invaded our garden. Other guests, the kind […]

  21. […] should add that we’re not really sweating the home study, even though it’s a lot of work. I just don’t want to resent the invasiveness of the process any more than necessary. To […]

  22. […] we just have to face our big pile of paperwork, which grew quite a bit yesterday, and hope our finances past the […]

  23. […] right along Remember I said this month was going to be busy? Well it has been. Some good news for a change. For one thing, M and I have been cruising through […]

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