As in barren. As in nothing grows here. As in wasteland.

That’s me. A barren fucking desert. 

Blinding white means no need for a beta.  Why bother. 

Not much else to say. I’ve said it all before. 

Only this time there are no future prospects. This was it.

I feel dead inside. 

Right now I can’t really see how I’m ever going to get through this.


~ by luna on April 4, 2008.

52 Responses to “wasteland.”

  1. Oh, Luna. I wish I had some wise and helpful words to send you. I wish I knew the answers and how to make it all better. I’m so very sorry for this lost chance, for the dashed dreams. May time bring you peace and healing.

  2. Luna, I want to come sit with you and bring you a cup of tea, a warm blanket, and those left over Krispy Kremes I have–and we’ll have a good cry, OK?
    Thinking of you…

  3. Luna,
    I’m really sorry. Nothing I saw can make you feel better.
    Take care of yourself..

  4. This post and the one before it made me cry. I’m so sorry Luna. So SO sorry, there aren’t any words. My heart is broken for you.

  5. No words. Just ((((hugs))). And a listening ear (reading eye?). I am so sorry. 😦

  6. I’m so sorry.

  7. I’m crying too, Luna. I can’t believe that the universe is such an unfair and awful place. I hate this for you. Hate it.
    I wish I could be with you, I wish I had some words that could take away a little of the hurt that will be tearing at you right now.
    Please try to be good to yourself, Luna, do what ever you can to get through the next little while.
    I am so sorry.
    Thinking of you xx

  8. I am so so so sorry, Luna. There are no good words.

  9. Luna, I’m crushed. Angry. heartbroken. I don’t know why life is unfair, and why some people get the short end of the stick more than once. thinking of you so, so much.

  10. I can’t even begin to imagine how upset, angry, frustrated and everything else that you must be feeling. And, I don’t have the words to express how terrible I feel for you. I think there really are no words to sum this up. It’s just awful. The end.

    I’m so,so sorry.

  11. Luna, I’m so terribly sorry. My heart is aching for you.

  12. Oh dam. I am so so so sorry. I know that doesn’t help. I am so angry for you. I wish I could take away some of your pain.

  13. Oh Luna, I’m so sorry.

  14. Coming from the Lost and Found. Sitting with you and wishing that it wasn’t so. Hoping that peace finds into your heart.

  15. I’m so very sorry. I’m wishing you peace in the midst of everything.

  16. It is not fair!! I am so, so sorry.

  17. I cry for you too, Luna.

  18. Oh, Luna. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. My heart hurts for you.

  19. I’m so sorry, Luna.

  20. No words, no magic. Just support, and lots of it.

  21. Oh Luna, I’m so sorry. Crying for you.

  22. But you will. You may not want to, but you will. And when you feel like it, if you feel like it, we’ll be here.

  23. Luna,

    I know there are no words that can comfort you right now, but please know that you are so very much cared for by everyone who is honored to read your blog. I wish I could take away your sorrow. I am so very sorry.

  24. I’m so terribly sorry Luna. I am thinking of you, and will continue to think of you and your husband.

  25. To read your sad words is so so hard. I am so sorry.

  26. Luna, I am so sorry for this cruel loss. (hugs)

  27. I’m so sorry, Luna. I wish there were better things than words for times like these. Sending you hugs and prayers.

  28. I have been following your blog for a few weeks now, and I am delurking to say that I am so sorry. I so wished this for you. I know it doesn’t do much to ease the pain, but I am sending love and hugs your way.

  29. My stomach just totally sank when I read this news. I am so, so sorry.

    You have been such a comfort to me through so much these past few months — I wish I could offer the right words that would help right now. But I know those don’t really exist.

    Be kind to yourself right now… and know I am always here if you need a shoulder to cry on.

  30. Oh Luna … words are just not enough right now. I wish I could wrap you in my arms and give you a giant HUG. I know how difficult it is to try to climb out of the darkness … but when you’re ready, just know that I’m here for you. ❤ ❤ ❤

  31. I am so sorry Luna. I have been in my own darkness this week from my loss and I was so sad to read this is happening to you too. There are no words to describe this feeling. Just know that I share this pain and hope we both can fight our way out of it.

  32. So sorry Luna…I wish I had better words for right now, sorry doesn’t even begin. I’ll keep you in my thoughts

  33. I’m so, so sorry. I have no words. Thinking of you.

  34. Oh honey, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I guess I still have it in me to be shocked that life can be so horribly, brutally cruel. I have to believe that someday you’ll feel better, but it seems hard to imagine right now. Please try to take care of yourself, and your wonderful husband.

  35. Oh, No. Just know that we are here when you need us.

  36. One step at a time, one hour at a time and sometimes one minute at a time.
    I’m so sorry Luna.

  37. I am so very sorry.

  38. I’m so so sorry Luna. I know there is nothing we can say to make things better. Life is just so incredibly unfair and it just breaks my heart. We’re all here for you. HUGS!!

  39. Oh sweetie, I was so sorry to read this post. I’m so sorry. Please take care of yourself and take each day as it comes. Thinking of you– Dot

  40. Just dropped by again to say that I’m thinking of you.

  41. I am so sorry.

  42. You are hurting more than words can begin to describe.

    You will get through this, you will. Right now, though, that idea may seem impossible — even insulting to comprehend. I know because I’ve been there. I didn’t think I would survive. I wasn’t sure I wanted to survive because it seemed in some ways pointless. That’s because I, too, was dead inside. It’s hard to imagine and you may not want to hear this now but it will get better. Just know you’re you are not alone. We grieve with you.

  43. I’m so, so sorry, Luna.

    You have given me so much support over the past few months – and now I feel so powerless to reciprocate. I wish there was something I could do or say, but at a time like this, there simply are no words.

    Please know that I am grieving with and for you.

  44. You’re in my thoughts, dear Luna. Sending major virtual hugs your way.

  45. Luna, no words are right for a time like this. Instead I will just say I am here to support you. I am so sorry.

  46. Luna- there is nothing that I can think to say, nothing that will make it better. I am so sorry. You are in my constant thoughts- I am sending you love and hugs and wishing you peace and healing thoughts- my heart is breaking for you and with you, I know you feel alone but please know that you are not- <3<3 I am holding you in my heart.

  47. ugh. I’m fucking sorry. 😦

  48. I want you to know I am still thinking of you. I am you feel like surfacing soon.

  49. I’m so very sorry.

  50. Luna, I’ve no words. My heart is breaking with you. I know this rings hollows, but you are in company with many women (me included) who are walking on the same, shitty, unfair path and you are being held close and protectively. I’m holding your hand, Luna. Holding your hand.

  51. […] began with lost hope and led to more failure and a cycle of despair, confusion and depression that lasted for months. I’ll spare you […]

  52. […] — an FET that had virtually no chance of success in my womb tomb. When it failed, I was devastated. But not entirely […]

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