coming out party

Hello friends, old and new. Happy November. 

So I have a confession to make.

Since I started this blog last year, I’ve never paid much attention to my readership. That’s not to say I don’t keep track of my regular readers. I love when you come by to check on me (hi!). I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but I really love it when you leave comments too. It’s like reaching through the big bright box to tell me you’re there, you’re listening and sharing my story, however painful or exciting it may be on any given day… 

That way I also know who you are. At least a little bit. 

I am so grateful for the readers that have been with me since the beginning of my web journey, and for friends I’ve made along with way. At the same time, I love that I’ve picked up new readers as my own story has evolved and unfolded. 

I think there’s been a subtle change in my readership during the course of the year as I’ve shifted from treatment (and failure) to our new path of adoption. That’s only natural, since I read so many different blogs too. It’s hard to keep up with everyone, of course. And sometimes it’s hard to follow stories that are so very different from our own, for so many reasons… But I digress. 

My point is that I gain so much from nearly everyone I’ve interacted with in this community — from my virtual friends, both old and new.  Yet I really have no idea who else reads this besides the people who comment. And sometimes there are a lot of you, from all over the world. Check this out — I love that thing!

Of course I’m aware that some people find this place by accident — e.g., the person searching for baby blessing rituals must have realized s/he was in the wrong place, but to the person searching for “birthday depressed infertile,” I hear you, sister (or brother). And that list just goes on…

And while it would be nice to know that our moms are not reading this, I’m actually far more interested in who IS reading. 

So, I’m having a little coming out party this week. I’m asking you, dear readers, to come on out and say hello. I make a mean molten chocolate cake and serve good wine and cocktails. It’s a party, but you don’t have to dress up or say anything clever. It doesn’t matter if you have a blog or not, if you’re a guy or a girl, infertile or have five kids. Just come on down and introduce yourself. Pretty please? Or not. No pressure. 

I’m just so curious — who are the readers from Europe and Asia, even the Middle East? Who’s reading in Canada, the midwest, southwest, and the good ole south? Maybe folks from neighboring towns have found me too? 

Of course I already know some of you, but not everyone. I am fascinated by where you are, what you’re looking for, and whether you’re finding it, here or elsewhere. 

I’m sure there is an official “de-lurking” day or week in the blogosphere, but I have no idea when it is. Besides, why wait? Don’t be shy, just say hi!  

And as a wise friend once used to tell me, “just remember, you can always leave.”

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~ by luna on November 1, 2008.

65 Responses to “coming out party”

  1. I see my dot!

  2. Hello! I am one of your 91 Google Reader subscribers so you can count me in as a reader who won’t always show up on your map. So just remember, there are an 91 people that care and ‘hear’ everything you say here.

  3. I’m a somewhat regular commenter and even more regular reader, so no need for me to ‘delurk’, but I, like you, would love to see and hear from more of the people that stop by. It sounds like you’re reaching out to a lot of people and that’s wonderful to see.

  4. Yep, you know me already too. I’m another of those 91 subscribers and I see my dot up there in cold Washington State. I starting following your journey fairly recently and I’m in awe of your strength and spirit. You’ve been through so much.

  5. I don’t think I’ve commented before. I live in Israel (Modi’in, to be exact). I’m a marriage and family therapist.

  6. Eh, you know me, subscriber and all, but I’m curious to see who turns up now, too!

  7. Hey Ms. Luna! I know I haven’t been commenting lately, but I still read. I must admit, it’s because I’ve been the one shifting to another aspect of my IF life. But know that you are with me in my thoughts on a daily basis. HUGS!

  8. Helloooo,
    Faithful (infertile) reader here from Massachusetts. Not sure what I’m looking for, but reading your words make me feel some sense of peace. I’ve got multiple failures under my belt… just trying to find some reason to keep moving forward.

  9. I’m in the Northeast/Midwest (just depends on who you ask). I read because you say things I want to better than I can.

  10. I live in Georgia, I subscribe through Google. I read a lot of IF/Pregnancy Loss blogs because it’s a comfort to me in my own situation.

  11. Y’know I’m here! I’m the little dot in the Georgia area. I started reading your blog because you’re on my Clicker beat, but I was sucked in immediately and haven’t left since.

    I’ve had a couple of coming out parties on my blog, and I’m always anxious to find out who my new readers are.

  12. Well, Miss Missy, I am reading. Though I am in Washington. So nowhere very exciting. I love the idea of a coming out party :-)

  13. I’m still checking in. We’ve seen the same doc. I’m a “neighbor” I guess. I’m expecting now, but I still care and think of you and others on the journey.

  14. I’m reading your blog from Ohio. I stumbled on your blog from Stirrup Queens one day, and your writing caught my eye.

    I’m still in the early phases of IF treatment, and if that doesn’t work out in the next year I am planning on moving on to adoption. I actually may do adoption one day even if the IF treatments work out. I’ve suffered a miscarriage, and my sister had a stillbirth with her first child.

    After your post on Elizabeth McCraken’s book, I went out and read it… I loved it. I plan on buying it for my sister.

    I’m reading your blog, and hoping for you.

  15. Hi, I’ve commented from time to time and I drop by more or less regularly. What am I looking for? Someone whose writing I can relate to who has gone through something similar I guess, someone who I think I would be friends with if we bumped into each other in our normal lives. I’m in Europe so I guess I must show up as a dot in Western Europe, quite cool actually.

  16. Hi, I comment occasionally but read regularly. I’m in Sacramento. I started reading after I met you this last summer in San Francisco when Mel was in town for Blogher.

  17. You already know me :) just saying hi! from Google Reader & the Greater Toronto Area!

  18. Howdy, I’m reading from Germany, but I’m an American (my husband is in the Army). I’m not sure how I found this blog, but I kept reading because I dealt with infertility too, it took us three years to get pregnant and thankfully we’ve been blessed with a little boy. I don’t comment very often because I’m afraid of accidentally being hurtful by saying something about my little boy…but I read everything you write, and I’m really sending lots of positive thoughts for you adoption wise!

  19. Long time reader. Periodic commenter. Constant lurker. :-)

  20. I’m bottom right of the map. The Sydney gal. (or sheila as we might say!) Happy readership celebration.

  21. You know where to find me! I thought I’d at least comment this time and not just lurk. I often get readers from strange places, small towns where exes live, smaller towns where mom’s best friend lives but I usually just attribute it to how many sisters are out there.

  22. DC for me my dear!

  23. I’m in Chicagoland, but my work PC shows up as Columbus, OH. Longtime lurker.

  24. Hi, I am a Google reader subscriber from VA. I have been reading IF/pregnancy loss blogs since May, when I lost my first pregnancy. I am not sure how I came across your blog, but I have been a faithful reader ever since. Wishing you the best in your adoption journey!

  25. Still here Luna=) Life-long reader, I shall be! I’m in North Carolina. xoxox

  26. One of your subscribers representing Minnesota here! ;)

  27. I thought I’d join the party. I really appreciate your comments on my blog. While adoption is not in the cards for me as my husband won’t agree to it and I’ve kinda lost my steam on that subject, it is interesting to hear about the process. Plus, we both have a shared similarity in having had fun (not) with fibroids. I’m one of those dots kinda on the left side of the US.

  28. Hi Luna. I am in Virginia and I love your blog. I am a regular reader, but I have only commented once or twice. I have stopped pursuing fertility treatments and have moved on to adoption, so I enjoy reading about your experience on this similar path. I tried going to an infertility support group offered by my RE, but it had some how morphed into more of a success group and most of the “support” time was spent talking about their children adn passing around pictures……..SOOOOOOO NOT HELPFUL. Now I stick with the blogs!

  29. Hi Luna,

    I am a Google Reader lurker from Columbus, Ohio. I’m still trying to beat the odds and get pregnant but fear I am nearing the end of that road. I am *thinking* about other options for a family and I have found your blog to be insightful and helpful. I am rooting for you and M – I know you will make great parents.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It truly helps to know other people have been where I am and can maybe help me find my way through.

  30. I’m waving hello from under a big red dot! I’m still pursuing treatments as we save up for adoption… I really appreciate your blog as something to follow along and prepare myself for the future.

  31. Present!

  32. Hello,
    I’m a new reader and subscriber. I just started my blog a couple of months ago and just discovered the whole infertility/adoption blogging community even more recently.

    We have a seven-year-old daughter (open domestic adoption) and I write about being a midlife mom, parenting an only child, and adoption issues, among other assorted stuff.

    I make a pretty mean molten chocolate cake myself!

  33. Howdy ya’ll! I started reading and following some time ago because I, too, am an infertility patient. Because of your transition to domestoic adotion, I’ve been reading along.

    Thanks for the coming out party!
    -a reader from the South

  34. I’m a fellow Bay Area resident and subscribe to your blog. I think I found it through Stirrup Queens. I started reading for moral support in the IF space. I think I’m very interested in your current journey. I want to know what it takes to do an open adoption. I don’t know anyone else who has gone through this process.

  35. Hello! You know me too but I haven’t been able to stop by in a while. Nice to see you have so many readers!

  36. But I don’t want to leave. I like you. You have chocolate cake.

    I’m Mrs. Spit, and I can’t remember where I found you, but you can find me in Alberta, Canada

  37. Infertility reader here, not adoption. Though they all intertwine, I suppose.

    Fun idea, Luna!

  38. G’morning!

    Formerly a gal who endured (and still struggles with the grief) 3 m/c’s, we investigated the fertility merry-go-round before deciding instead to pursue the expansion of our family via other means.

    I am an adoptive parent of thee most stunning toddler girl from China. She has been with us three months now. It’s a little bit like being shot out of a cannon, LOL.

    Cheers!

  39. You know me, but I just had to say I love this coming out party thing. Very cool to see who all your readers are and where they are from, Luna.

  40. Just came across your blog from someone else’s… but am now adding you to mine! By the way, I’m in the southeastern part of the US….

  41. you wouldn’t tease a girl about molten chocolate cake, would ya?

    I’m one of those lil specs on your map in the Midwest. Metro-Detroit, to be specific.

  42. Regular reader, occasional commenter from AZ baby!

  43. Look at all your readers!
    I’m in Texas.

  44. Ok, I’ll come out, even though I commented once before. I don’t remember how I found your blog, but I’ve been lurking (and catching up on the backstory) for about a month or two now so I guess that makes me new. Maybe I found you through Lost and Found? Or the blog roll? I have an IF blog, but it’s secret, only for me. I’m from the Bay Area like you, I have gathered; I almost emailed you once with a question, but I reconsidered as it seemed too stalker-y. We are slogging through IVF (2 failed and counting…) but I am enjoying reading about your adoption journey since we don’t know where this road will lead for us. Hmm – is that enough “coming out”? :)

  45. A reader from way up north in Alberta Canada here. Your blog has been a huge godsend for me because for years I’ve felt so alone in my own personal battle with infertility. Thank you so much for your blog! I wish you the very best in your adoption journey. Please keep us all posted!

  46. I started reading IF blogs when my daughter was struggling to conceive, and I stayed because your writing touches me deeply.
    I wish you much luck and happiness in your adoption endeavors.
    Shelley in South Dakota

  47. i’m your faithful dot in nj.

  48. I’m a new reader/lurker to your blog (and as you already know quoter of your great wisdom and eloquent words in my own blog). I’m in good ol’ Utah, and like you going in the adoption process (but also doing the IVF thing on the side!) Fun coming out party! =) Infertile Myrtle

  49. Pretty sure you know me as a long-term reader and commenter – I just didn’t want to miss out on a slice of that molten chocolate cake!

    Enjoy your coming out party, dearest Luna!

  50. Regular reader…terrible commenter lately:) I’m in KY,a nd I promise, promise to do better with my commenting:)

  51. What a great idea! I need to do this on my blog.
    I’m here . . .always a few days behind, but do my best to keep up.

    I’m in Eastern, WA btw.

  52. Hi! I’m sure I ended up here through one of Mel’s many efforts, can’t remember which now. :)

  53. Hi Luna, it’s me, Debbie. I missed the party b/c I was out of town, but thought I’d swing by today. I’m here b/c I love reading about your journey. I also love being able to hear someone else process feelings and events so similar to mine.
    xo!

  54. Hi Luna! I found you through Ms Heathen’s blog. We’ve recently started our adoption journey after fertility treatments. Your blog has been wonderful for me, both informative and inspiring. I am in Pennsylvania.

    I hope there is some cake left…

  55. Looks like I’m not the only one showing up at midnight with a bottle of wine, hoping there’s some cake left. I’m in Saskatchewan, Canada and am a subscriber and faithful reader. Spotty on the commenting, though. I don’t remember how I found you, but I read your blog because, although our stories are different, you are writing about your heart’s journey. And that’s what I’m interested in with all this baby stuff – almost more so than the actual baby part. So thank you, for sharing the truth of your experience, Luna. You are changing the world in ways none of us can even imagine, even post-party, after the empties are cleared out and you’re writing the thank you notes.

  56. Wow, I’m the 56th person. Luna, you are so popular! I am a regular reader. Started reading pre-Blogher 08. I have actually met La Luna in real life. Briefly but still very cool. I’ll be in your neck of the woods this weekend.

  57. Is there any chocolate cake left? I’m a regular reader, occasional commentator from Ontario, Canada. Bulletin boards were the big thing when I was really in the thick of the IF battle. I found IF blogs a year or so ago through Mel and Loribeth, when I was researching to help my SIL who is going through the IF struggle as well. Your writing always touches me and I am cheering you on in your adoption journey!

  58. Hi there,

    This is Kymberli’s MommyLady. I’ve read some of your post when Kym links you to one of her’s.

    I know I’m late… I have another cake for yah!!! Let the party begin again! :-)

  59. Hey there! I’m a new-ish reader who never comments. Because I’m antisocial like that.

  60. [...] I couldn’t help myself on those last two, and this one was just fun. But after that awesome coming out party — which logged more comments than any other post, so cool! — I had planned to resume [...]

  61. Holy comments! I’m the slow one, from Vancouver Canada:-)

  62. Hey there… I think I’m the slowest. Heather… Iowa…

  63. Boy, I am really late to the party! Is there any molten chocolate cake left?

    I’ve been bad about commenting lately, although I think I’ve been pretty consistent in the past. To be honest, the reason I don’t always comment is that your posts are always so thought provoking that I feel like I need to set aside time to read them. There is so much feeling in your writing. I can’t just peek in for a quick update like some of the other blogs I follow and I always feel like my comments should be just as well thought out as your posts!

    So I sometimes wait and then when I go back, you have more new posts and I’m even further behind the curve! For example, when I finally decided to dedicate myself to reading your current post, I was 11 posts behind. Sometimes my google reader mocks me. :)

    I started reading well before you mentioned adoption on your blog. And although I think i would have kept reading regardless of what path your journey took, I am very curious to read about your adoption journey. I have read blogs of people who adopted in the past, but never someone who is just beginning the journey and getting into the thick of it before my very eyes. I hope to follow your blog all the way to the happy ending. Whatever that ending entails.

  64. [...] Luna said during her Coming Out Party, “don’t be shy — just say [...]

  65. [...] Luna said during her Coming Out Party, “don’t be shy — just say [...]

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